Mixed feelings and mixed emotions on mixed results.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13: 8). To know and to experience that is a real blessing. This morning I did not really experience it that way. Yes, I know it is true for the Bible tells us so, yet the results we received from the Oncologist gave us mixed feelings.

My regular Oncologist was away and the Oncologist we met did not specialize in Kidney Cancer. She shared with us the results from the scan. It showed that the tumour on the left lung had shrunk a little. However more cancer nodules (cancer spots) are appearing on the lungs and some of the existing nodules are growing in size. The oncologist said that it will not affect my breathing immediately. I was given the choice what to do next, go on half strength Chemo treatments starting today or wait and think about it for a few days and see my regular Oncologist on December 8. We opted for the last one and plan to see him on December 8 in the afternoon because our regular Oncologist specializes in Kidney Cancer.

One thing is pretty well for sure, I will not be going on full strength Chemo anymore, at least not the kind I have been using because it makes me too sick. The hard part is what to do next. It is good that I have a few days to think this over and bring this in prayer to God, asking Him for guidance and wisdom.
Psalm 27 says it all, Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! I wonder if God is talking about earthly things or eternal things or maybe both. Matthew Henry’s commentary gives the following explanation on this text.

“What was the belief which supported the psalmist? That he should see the goodness of the Lord. There is nothing like the believing hope of eternal life, the foresights of that glory, and foretastes of those pleasures, to keep us from fainting under all calamities. In the mean time he should be strengthened to bear up under his burdens. Let us look to the suffering Saviour, and pray in faith, not to be delivered into the hands of our enemies. Let us encourage each other to wait on the Lord, with patient expectation, and fervent prayer”.

Paul said in Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Oh how I know that, yet I need so much grace to be able to say that with my heart and mind. I pray that God will give me that grace when I need it as He has done already so many times under different circumstances. Someone said to me a little while ago “everybody wants to go to Heaven but no one wants to go now” isn’t that the truth, yet I also wonder why people want to go to heaven. Are we truly ready for Heaven? I hope many of you went to church yesterday. I did, and I heard the words from John 3:16 explained to me, making salvation possible for the biggest sinners walking on earth. Please don’t postpone seeking Jesus because today is the day of salvation. Will we see tomorrow? Are we going to see each other again? I do not know and can’t answer that, however, if we repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ we will see each other again in Heavenly glory. Oh, what a day that will be.

On December 9, I will write about the visit to our Oncologist and the decision we will make. In the mean time we ask you to pray for me and Henrietta that we will make the right decision on Thursday. We continue to pray for healing, by God all things are possible and we are praying that God will give us grace and help us to carry this load.

Sometimes people say, the news you receive is very discouraging. I think we should look at it in a different light. If this is going be used to Gods honour and glory and used for the saving of sinners it will be a great blessing. We should never forget John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. God’s love is so great that He gave His ONLY Son. If we had only one son would we do that?

God bless you and keep you.
John