The Mind of God

How are you doing?

People that meet or contact me always ask this question. There are some that avoid the question and say nothing, I can understand that too, however, I have no problem if you ask me.  It is me that has to respond to the question. What do you say? Usually we answer these questions with, I am fine, how about yourself?

How do we deal with turbulent times like these in our lives? For me that has changed a lot. I don’t know how I could ride out this “storm” on my own without my anchor Jesus Christ. I often compare it with the builder in Matthew 17:24 who built his house on a rock (Christ). I too see these big storms and huge waves approaching at times and beat on me. It makes me shrink, it makes me feel sick and weak and yet the house stands because I can so often feel God’s presence during these storms. Do you have “ your house” built on the Rock?

So how is it really going, pretty good, pretty weak, difficult to eat and talk because of a very sore throat. I am really looking forward to my two week break from Chemo starting on June 2. Now that we have better weather we try to go for walk each day. It amazes me each day again how that these Chemo treatments have taken the wind out of my sails.

There is one person I have mentioned way too little, and that is Henrietta. I am sure you have all heard of the virtuous women in Proverbs 31. Few people know about this secret but I married her 33 years ago. I suggest you read this chapter and you will see what I mean.  Henrietta gets up in the morning and juices carrots and oranges and lemons and cares for me all day until it is time to go to bed.  Words fall short of a way to say thank you Henrietta. I love you.

Thank you again so much for your prayers and other ways of showing your love and care. Please continue to remember us in your prayers.

John

When friends let you down........................

In Mark 2: 1-11 we read of one of the many miracles that Jesus performed when He was on earth. We see four friends taking a paralytic man and letting him down on a stretcher through the roof of a building right in front of Jesus while He was teaching the people.

This week I personally experienced this when some eighteen or so friends and brothers came together to pray over me for healing as we can read in James 5, Mark 16 and other Bible passages. They let me down as it were, holding the ropes to bring me at the feet of Jesus in prayer. This was the second time they had organized a gathering like this, just for me. I felt greatly encouraged and blessed and continue to look to Christ in faith. It is difficult to put the experience into words but I believe with all my heart that God will bless this time of prayer in more than one way for me and those who were present. My hope is in Christ and I will continue to call to our great Physician as the blind Bartimaeus did "Son of David, have mercy on me!" I want to thank you all for coming out to pray over me.

As I layed awake for several hours during the night after this prayer meeting I relived it once again. Looking at the ceiling in the dark I could picture my friends standing around the hole in the roof holding the ropes of the stretcher I was laying on and praying for me as I laid at Jesus feet. It was a precious time of quiet, peace and prayer.

Monday was the first day I stayed home from work, feeling too sick and drained of energy from the Chemotherapy treatments. It makes me nauseated and it is very difficult to eat. Every food I once loved has turned into a plate of food I can hardly eat. My taste and smell have changed dramatically and each day it appears foods are added to the list that I use to love but now taste bad. Today it was bananas which suddenly tasted way too sweet, now they don’t taste good at all. So far I have managed to keep my weight, however it is barely, I am afraid if this keeps up that my weight will slip a little, something I can’t really afford very well. So I eat and stuff it in and try to keep eating. Food looks good until it lands on my plate, then the picture changes.

This week my brother from Holland came to visit me. It was good to see each other again and to speak of our hope in Christ, our struggles but above all our blessings.

I don’t know how the coming days and weeks will go and wonder if I will be able to go back to work soon. I also need to rest because it does me much good, I can feel that in my body.

Thank you again for upholding me in your prayers.
John

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. Ps 121:2

In the last couple of days everything is changing quickly. It has been 6 days ago since I started with Chemotherapy treatments. At first I was very optimistic that I would not feel the side effects of the Chemotherapy, however when day 4 and 5 came it started to make an impact on me, in a good and bad way.Several weeks before I started with Chemotherapy treatments I was often short of breath, even reading out loud was difficult, that has changed completely. I no longer have this shortness of breath and I see this and feel this as very positive and an answer to prayer. I already could feel the difference after 2 days. The negative is that since I started Chemo treatments I am drained from my energy, feel weak and nauseated and very tired. When I took my first Chemo pill I knew what the possible effects could be and even hesitated for a minute to swallow it, but I knew that it was the best thing I could do. I don’t know if I am able to keep working, today I started late and quit early because it had exhausted me.

What precious promises are written in Psalm 121. 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. 4 Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. 6The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. 8 The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.
When one does not feel good even reading is not a pleasant thing, at least not for me right now. How precious it is then to meditate on Psalms like this. Again I thank you so much for the emails, calls, cards and kind messages left on this blog. God be with you, till we meet again
John

Who is this King of glory? The LORD, strong and mighty, the LORD, mighty in battle! Psalm 24:8

Today I was much encouraged by Gods word and ready to go to war. When we enter the battle with the banner of Jesus we will always be victorious, and so it will be.

Yesterday was a very special day when I informed all of the employees at work of my illness, and I can only tell you that God at this time did an amazing thing. He opened doors that were completely nailed shut. I had some employees coming into my office wondering how this could be. How can you be here at work, one said. How can you cope, what about if you die, you better go and make the best of life, don’t wait. So I said yes, I know what you mean, let me tell you that I am trying to make the best of life. So the conversations went from making fertilizer to the One who makes plants grow! Amazing Grace! Lord I pray that this will only be the beginning. I am amazed, truly amazed by Gods doings.

On Thursday afternoon we spent three hours at the cancer clinic between doctors, pharmacist, blood test and advice. When we walked out of the hospital I had a small vial in my hands with my name on it, and it said “Chemotherapy treatment”. I was advised not to handle the Chemotherapy pills with my bare hands and use disposable gloves because it can cause damage to the skin. I can only imagine what it does to my body. With the Chemotherapy treatments I will also be taking a Homeopathic remedy from a trusted source. Even the doctor acknowledged that it could not hurt to take Homeopathic remedies.

The waiting for treatment is over and our eyes are on Jesus Christ for healing. I know that God has given all these medical doctors wisdom but ultimately God is going to do the healing.

For the next 28 days I will be taking one Chemotherapy pill a day, then a 2 week break and again 28 days after that. Plans constantly change, the plan is now to do surgery at the end of the second treatment period, providing the Chemotherapy is suppressing the cancer.  Prayer, much prayer and faith is needed, because if we have faith we can even move mountains, these are the Lords own words in Matthew 17: 20 For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."

Friends, I ask you to continue with us in prayer to move a mountain, if it pleases God to heal me it would indeed be like moving a mountain, it would be against all odds and against what all the doctors are saying. The doctors even told us that Chemotherapy does not fight kidney cancer very well as it fights other cancers. I know and believe that by God all things are possible, even moving mountains. Recently God moved the whole country of Japan.

As we enter the battle we ask for your prayers I feel and know that many of you are praying for me. Thank you.

May God bless you richly.

John

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.
Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
Forward into battle see His banners go!
Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.

Help me then in every tribulation

Another bend in the road and unable to see what lies ahead.

I find it difficult at times not being able to see around the corner, so I ask the doctors what can I expect, some give me hope, some have discouraging news but in the end they all say, we really don’t know. Maybe we can operate, maybe the treatments will work, maybe this, maybe that.

This brings me back to where I belong, and that is at the feet of Jesus. Psalm 118: 8  It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. 9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.

I doubt and waiver at times as I look at the waves around me, it is at those times that I call out to God to keep me on top of the waves and not let me sink.

Yesterday again I had that sinking feeling as we visited the Oncologist at the cancer clinic. He was a very compassionate and informative doctor, he told me that not one, but both Adrenal glands are now invaded by cancer.

We hope to see him again on May 5. At that time I will hear what treatment I will receive.

Treatments will depend on the blood test that the doctor ordered. It will be either Chemotherapy pills or Chemo by IV, which will start either the end of this week or beginning of next week.

The plan is to give me Chemotherapy treatments for 3-4 weeks and see how the cancer will react. The doctors feel that they need to get the cancer in the lungs under control before surgery. After the treatments they will assess the situation and plan surgery for the beginning of July. All this the Lord willing and providing the cancer will react positive towards the treatments.

We also visited the kidney specialist in Surrey. He was more positive than our last visit.

He talked mostly about surgery, and how that the two tumors have to be removed to get rid of the “hot spots”  He also talked about doing a double procedure surgery by removing the kidney and lung tumor at the same time. This would require both surgeons to work together at the same time, as they often do.

Surgery is only possible after Chemo treatments have been stopped for at least 2 weeks.

With all this information we went home and wait what tomorrow will bring. I feel fine with the exception of my breathing, it is becoming more difficult as time goes on.

Thank you again for your prayers and concerns.

John

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.