And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee.

We are happy to be home after a very busy week of tests and hospital visits. Next week is more of the same, more tests and hospital visits. Going through testing is one thing, being surrounded by people in the medical field who are so helpful and compassionate is a great blessing. Being surrounded by patients with many different kinds of cancer is difficult at times yet I am one of them. I consider myself blessed when I see how crippling and painful this disease can be in many ways and see the blessings that I can still do things that many cancer patients can’t do anymore.

The compassion of the medical staff is amazing, God created nurses with a very special gift, something that can’t be learned, and that is compassion.

On Tuesday, I started with one dose of Chemotherapy that appeared to disagree with my body only hours after taking it. I felt sick and weak. On Wednesday, I received no Chemo, giving me a day to recuperate. On Thursday the treatments, which are taken orally in pill form, continued by taking Chemo pills 3 times a day. Today is Saturday and I am not feeling too bad and I hope and pray that I will be able tolerate the treatments.

On Friday, I received the results of the CT and Bone scans. The prognosis is not encouraging. The cancer is spreading in all areas, from the Spine to the Ribs, the left and right side of the Pelvis bone and both Lungs are showing an increase in cancer nodules and growth, the same for the Adrenal gland, this may explain why I feel so tired at times. My only Kidney shows cysts, it has not been determined if they are cancerous.

Often times it comes to mind, should I still have hope? It makes me go back to God’s Word, the Bible, where many passages speak of “hope”. One such passage is in Psalm 39: 7 And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee. When creature confidences fail, it is our comfort that we have a God to go to, a God to trust in.

With cancer of this magnitude there is humanly speaking little hope for healing. However, this life will end for all of us, sooner or later and if you can say from your heart that your hope and expectation is in God and that you repented and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ then you will receive Eternal Life. My hope is in the Lord my God and there is nothing that will take away that hope.

Recently someone quoted “Healthy people have many wishes, sick people have only one.” There is much truth in that; however, I have two wishes. That I would be healed and that the love of Christ in my heart will never diminish but grow.

I feel very blessed in many ways, foremost with my dear wife Henrietta who is at all times at my side, helping, arranging and often my ears and mouth. The love and compassion that I receive is beyond words. Our 5 children and their spouses who are so dear to us are of great support in these difficult times and our grandchildren who faithfully pray for my healing, never even questioning God. The Bible speaks that children (I add grandchildren) are a great blessing; I can only answer that with a big “Amen” and thank the Lord for our loving and compassionate family.
On we go, hour by hour, day by day looking to Jesus for comfort and Grace.

Lately I have received many encouraging messages from blog readers and friends, thank you for the encouragements. May God make you a blessing to many and that the love of God will live in your heart forever. May we always look for that city, whose Builder and Maker is God.
John

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.