Guide me, O thou great Redeemer

Guide me, O thou great Redeemer,
pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but thou art mighty;
hold me with thy powerful hand;
Bread of heaven,
feed me now and evermore.

I find it difficult to write today, to express my feelings is even more difficult as I face each day with the reality of cancer. The song, Guide me, O thou great Redeemer really sums up the sigh in my heart.

I can honestly say that life for me was a joy in many different ways and even in the challenges that life brought on my path. I had much joy in my family, joy in my work, and joy in my children and grand children and joy in Henrietta. Joy in the opportunities that God blessed me with, the joy of the people I got to know in my lifetime, the joy of friends, and my joy in Christ Jesus. It appears that the latest news of the spreading cancer and the decision to receive more Chemo Therapy treatment are overshadowing my joy.

Not all is gloom, there is bright moments that lift me up and over my circumstances. One of those moments was when the elders of my church came together to pray over me for healing and that this illness would also be used as a blessing. I see these events as a great blessing and as obedience to the Gospel as written in James 5. God wants us to live out the Bible in our lives in word and deed.

Open now the crystal fountain,
whence the healing stream doth flow;
let the fiery cloudy pillar
lead me all my journey through;
strong Deliverer,
be thou still my Strength and Shield.

The decision to start Chemo treatments was difficult, on the one hand I can say “no thank you” and on the other hand I want to try everything I can do to fight this battle with cancer. "No" means most likely a fast advance of this dreadful disease, it is for that reason I want to try once more to go the route of Chemo treatments.At the same time I know that only God holds the keys to life and death. It will therefore be our prayer that I will not suffer the side effects of these treatments as I have in the past and that God will bless these Chemo treatments.

Once the decision was made to go ahead with treatments the wheels were set in motion very quickly and within 24 hours I had a complete patient appointment schedule emailed to me, dating from June 11 to July 24 with appointments down to hourly breakdowns for the first week of testing. The clinical Chemo treatments will be starting on June 15. However before this I will have to undergo many tests starting June 11 including a Bone scan, CT Scan, Muga Scan, ECG, blood tests and related tests. I again stand amazed at the medical provisions and the rapid speed and organization of all the medical care I receive.

During this clinical trial of Chemo treatments I will have a full time nurse to share with 3 other patients that have Kidney cancer. I will be 1 of only 3 people at the Vancouver Cancer Center and 1 of 30 in Canada to use these clinical trial Chemo Treatments. I hope and pray that a medical breakthrough will be found against Kidney cancer, if not for me, hopefully for others at a later date.

I really want to thank all those who so faithfully support me in many different ways with prayer, cards, calls, visits, emails, etc. One of those people is Howie who recently wrote a beautiful blog entry about the doubting that can come into the life of a Christian. It was truly a timely message for me to read it. You can read Howie's blog entry here and I hope it will be a blessing for you too.

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
bid my anxious fears subside;
bear me through the swelling current,
land me safe on Canaan's side;
songs of praises,
I will ever give to thee.

Just because I will be starting Chemo treatments does not mean that I feel sick, the opposite is true. I feel amazingly well without any discomfort or pain. It is so hard to believe that I have such a serious case of cancer and yet feel so good. That is why it is so difficult to start Chemo treatments,  I feel fine and know that by taking these treatments the quality of life could be going down. I am thankful that I can still enjoy each day while trying not to think to much about cancer but to think on Christ who is able to give peace in our hearts, a peace that passes all understanding. Please join us in using the most powerful tool we possess, and that is prayer. I am still convinced that God can do a miracle because He is Almighty and by God all things are possible, that indeed is our prayer.

Thank you again for your cares. I will try to write again next week when most of my days will be spent at the Abbotsford and Vancouver Cancer Centers for testing. Be blessed and be a blessing.
John